Old habits die hard and life in my twenties still feels as complicated as ever. Long gone are the days of blog posts written every Sunday without fail; always about lazy days at my parents’, roast dinners, good books and sunshine or rain.
Funnily enough, I actually did spend Sunday just gone at my parents’ and it was an amazing dose of all of that. My mum made me a bacon buttie and a cuppa. I nipped out to see my best friend and her other half and when I got back the whole house smelt of roast chicken and potatoes. I chilled with my brother and checked in with my sister. I stole a good couple of bear hugs off my dad. Before I headed home, full of food and love, I watched a kid’s film with my parents. It was raining almost the whole day and my old home felt that much cosier because of it.
Right now, I’m sat on the sofa in our flat listening to Rag ‘n’ Bone man, whose music I love. Dave’s just got in from work and tonight we’ve nothing planned besides fighting over who gets control of the music and who gets the comfier sofa. Makes a change. We intend to make the most of the nothingness.
The working weeks are particularly crazy for both of us at the moment. I’m always in a Mond-aze first thing Monday morning. I may love my job, but that doesn’t stop the return of the alarm clock being a shocker. As busy people in our twenties, we always promise ourselves early nights and yet every evening flies by and before we know it, we’re going to sleep much later than intended too.
As time goes on, I think I’m finally beginning to realise that regardless of gender, personality, job, lifestyle, mental health, all twenty-somethings are feeling a lot of the same things. Obviously we’re all going through our own individual bits and pieces, but we’ve a lot in common with each other too.
Our twenties have the potential to be the best years of our lives, of course, but that doesn’t mean we’re not all scared and unsure. As millennials, swept up in the craziness of all that is modern day life, we’d be crazy not to feel a little bewildered. Whenever I stop for too long to think I find myself second guessing, doubting, panicking. In those moments, I miss my childhood home more than ever, recalling moments of peace and sanctuary through rose tinted glasses and forgetting the times life in that house felt crazy too.
Life in our twenties is like a non-stop roller coaster ride. And we’re not necessarily new to the ride, but we feel truly unsupervised for the first time and so the ride is just a little more scary as a result.
Does that make sense? Have I taken the metaphor too far?
Calmer nights, like tonight, seem to be a rarity and rather than dwell on the overwhelm, I’m trying to embrace it all. These are the years to fly, right? We can get grounded again when we hit life’s next chapter. Surely at some point adults must start to feel more steady.
Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies 