This morning was meant to be a slow morning. Yesterday was spent running in and out of shops getting the last of our Christmas presents and then putting our tree up, before flopping in front of the Strictly Come Dancing final with a glass of red. When we eventually flopped, I felt so happy at the thought of a lazy evening and a lazy morning to follow it.
Then, disappointingly, I woke up at 6 am with a head full of anxious thoughts. I restlessly snoozed for a couple more hours before giving in and getting up to get myself a cup of tea. I found that, even curled up on the sofa looking at our lovely little Christmas tree, I couldn’t chill. I reviewed my to-do list to confirm to myself there was nothing urgent that needed actioning, but even that didn’t work. 08;45 came around and with that, my prompt to fill in my gratitude journal for the day and yet, even a moment of gratitude didn’t calm my anxious brain.
Isn’t this time of year the most wonderful and the most stressful all at once!?
If you’re anything like me, one moment you’re joyfully singing along to Mariah Carey and then the next you’re panic shopping for little extras in the Christmassy aisle of your local supermarket or re-doing your sums in a panic that you’ve not budgeted correctly after all and you’re going to find yourself bankrupt by Christmas Eve.
I love this time of year. I really do. The twinkling lights everywhere you go. The Christmas songs playing in every shop and on the radio whenever you get in the car. The quality time with family and friends. The glorious amount of food and drink for those of us who are privileged enough. The general cheer.
I even love the Winter. The late sunrises which on a clear day can fill your home with sunlight. The dark, gloomy evenings spent chilling with candles lit. The woolen jumpers and socks and hats that help us keep warm. I think that’s one of the reasons this time of year can be so hard in the more anxious moments. The days are short, the weather is cold and yet, instead of cosying down we can find ourselves feeling obligated to get out and about more than ever. This can lead to tiredness, which can niggle away at our mental health.
I also totally buy into the concept of rounding off one year and then entering another and I enjoy that process. I think it’s important to rest and reflect before diving head first into another year of resolutions and adventures. But at the busiest time of year, it’s hard to make time to rest and reflect and before we know it, Christmas can come and go without us having taken a single moment to properly savour it or plan for what’s ahead.
And so, I think it’s about finding peace where you can and if peace doesn’t come easily, persisting until you find a way.
In the end, after I’d filled in my gratitude journal, I grabbed myself a bowl of cereal and scrolled through Spotify in search of something festive yet calming, that might help me get some rest. I stumbled upon Nora Jones’ Christmas album and finally caught my breath. She’s been keeping me steady ever since and I’m now thoroughly enjoying typing away whilst sipping another cup of tea.
For those who have been keeping up with Chapter Seven, BIG NEWS! Dave and I have found a house which we really love! There’s a long way to go yet until it’s officially ours, but we’re over the moon and very excited. We’ve also started the extremely daunting conveyancing process, which of course means there are all sorts of other things cluttering up my anxious brain at the moment.
Which brings me to my final point…
It’s not just Christmas. Life goes on throughout the festive season. And keeping up with life on top of all of the wonderful festivities can be A LOT. So, give yourself grace. Listen to the calmer Christmas music. Light a candle and watch the flame for a little while. Turn the Christmas Tree lights on and day dream. Whatever you’ve got going on this year, find some peace where you can and remember to look after yourself.
Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies 