Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: adult life

  • Life doesn’t stop because you’re house hunting 🏘️

    Life doesn’t stop because you’re house hunting 🏘️

    Dave and I’s first day of house viewings was a little disheartening, but the second day (crammed full of twice as many viewings) was much more promising. We’ve not found our future home yet, but we have gotten to a point where we’re much more clued up on what our actual deal breakers are and what we love in a house.

    I genuinely went into our search thinking all we needed was any house with a roof, walls, three bedrooms and a garden. I’d never really paid much attention to how different houses are. We’ve seen so many different types of 3 bedroom house and it turns out it’s all so much more complicated.

    I’ve gone from impatiently revisiting every Rightmove listing wondering if there’s a house we’ve overlooked or could make work, to realising that we should take this slow. We’re in the extremely privileged position of being able to take our time searching and I think that’d be the first bit of advice I’d give to anyone looking to buy a home – if you have the luxury of time, don’t rush it.

    Another reason to take it slow is that, life hasn’t stopped for the house search. And for a little while there, I was definitely overdoing it. Work has been busy as ever and there’s been a lot else exciting going on besides us scrolling Rightmove on the daily. In fact, it’s been a hectic few weeks since I last wrote.

    My Dad and I road tripped up to Manchester to see my little brother and his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. They live in this super cool flat, on the one-from-the-top floor of a block of flats, with incredible views of the Manchester city skyline. We spent two days eating yummy food, catching up on life and seeing some of the sights. I started to feel a little poorly while we were there and was grateful to be with family, able to take things in my stride – on the Saturday afternoon, when I ran out of energy all together, we all went back to the flat to cosy down with tea and snacks and watch the most random movie on Disney +.

    It was just a cold. I thought I was going to be able to push through a week working from home when Monday came around, but it actually hit me pretty hard! By Wednesday, I was crying on the sofa feeling totally drained and too snotty to mention.

    I did thankfully recover in time for our second lot of house viewings that weekend.

    Then, this week just gone, Dave and I’s boiler broke down. The pressure dropped, the error light came on, we reported the fault and next thing we knew, an engineer was sticking a ‘DO NOT USE’ warning sticker on the front of it and telling us we’d need a replacement. I had two cold showers in the time it was out of action and I must say, whilst I will probably never choose to do it again (especially not in autumn) I did feel the benefits you always hear about.,, I felt energised and refreshed and I’m sure my hair was softer too.

    The new boiler was fitted on Friday and I’m incredibly grateful to be living in a home with hot water again.

    Yesterday, I spent a wonderfully autumnal day at Kew with one of my best friends. We wandered among the trees and leaves, caught up on life, drank tea and cake and finished the day with red wine and pie at a pub nearby.

    And now here I am. Curled up on the sofa at the end of a very lazy day, but still shattered. Looking forward to an evening eating chicken, broccoli and roast potatoes and catching up on Strictly Come Dancing. Can you imagine an evening more wholesome?

  • Way more than 66 Books 📚

    Way more than 66 Books 📚

    Yesterday I went to book lover heaven. My friend and I met for a super scummy brekky and a catch up, before hopping in an Uber to 66 Books to go book shopping!

    For those who don’t already know, 66 Books, is a fully operational book warehouse in Hertfordshire which a company called 66 Book Club open up to the public once or twice a month. This means, on those open days (check out the book club’s FB page for dates: https://www.facebook.com/@66bookclub/) you can explore the aisles full of books for as long as you’d like. It’s like having access to a massive library – except the books aren’t categorised by author, title or genre and are (we assumed) sorted by some kind of mysterious warehouse coding system.

    Not only can you explore, but after you’ve browsed the shelves you can buy as many books as you like for 70% off retail price (once you’ve paid £2 for membership of the book club)! We queued from about 12:20pm until about 3pm (so just under three hours) but it was so worth it! We both came away happily with bundles of books and full book loving hearts.

    And today!? Today, Dave and I are on our house hunt! I can’t believe we’re actually here. We’re back in our home town and we’re actually potentially going to look at our future home. My tummy is butterfly central, but mostly in a good way.

    I know it’s most likely we’ll spend a lot longer searching before putting in any offers, but these houses are really very promising prospects… I think.

    My friend patiently spent a solid amount of our time queueing yesterday going through the Rightmove listings with me and weighing up pros and cons. I have been finding it really hard to imagine what these homes would look like once we’d made them ours, but talking through imaginary colour schemes and furniture layouts with her really helped.

    Stay tuned to find out how we get on and thanks as always for being along for the ride.

  • Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Today’s the best kind of Sunday – I’m off out to meet one of my best friends for a roast dinner and a country walk. The pub we’ve found for Sunday roast is so popular that they called me on Friday just to make sure we still wanted our table and it couldn’t be offered to someone else. I bet the roast potatoes will be super yummy.

    This week has been a bit of an uphill struggle and not only did I feel anxious and tired and headachy and run down as I so frequently do, but I made it worse by stressing about why I might be feeling that way at a time when life is supposedly pretty good.

    I sat on the sofa one night running over everything I could possibly be stressing about this time. Work? Fine. Friendships? Pretty fab. Family? Love ’em. Cats? Happy and healthy. Life admin? Manageable.

    It never gets easier to accept that anxiety is a part of my life and that it can be an irrational response to simply just being.

    But I’m not too mad I over thought it, as I’ve done some research over the weekend which has been really enlightening. I think maybe my hormones took a swing at a certain time in a certain monthly cycle. It’s been comforting to read that, if that is the case, I’m not alone. Turns out there are multiple times in the month when those of us with cycles can feel more in a tizz and that hormones can do their thing more often as we got older. Whilst this is miserable news, it is comforting to think that maybe next time I’ll be a little gentler with myself. 30 years behind me and still learning new things about my body and my butterflies all the time.

    Pleased to have made it through in spite of it all. I had a productive week at work and it’s been a lovely weekend so far, full of time with friends. On Friday night I went to visit a friend and her absolutely precious new born baby girl. Last night, I was out celebrating one of my best friend’s 30th birthday at a London pub. The tube got suspended and I ended up getting the bus and then taking a walk through Wandsworth Park to get there, which was BEAUTIFUL. Once there, I had the best time playing pool, nattering with lovely ladies I haven’t seen in ages and saying cheers to the birthday girl with bubbles and cupcakes.

    Today, I’m excited for roast potatoes, a long overdue catch up and I’m excited to get in the car and listen to Taylor Swift at top volume… If I wasn’t a Swiftie before going to the Eras tour, I most definitely am now. I’m currently making my way through ‘evermore’ and loving every moment. Also am currently obsessed with Raye’s album ’21st Century Blues’ and Cat Burns’ ‘Early Twenties’.

    Happy Sunday all! Lessons learned this week – we should all go a little easier on ourselves when we feel run down, because sometimes our bodies just need a rest. Time with friends is so precious and always worth pushing through for. And being thrown off the tube isn’t always a bad thing, because taking a new route can be pretty wonderful.

  • When life gives you lemons, take a break 🍋

    When life gives you lemons, take a break 🍋

    I’d reached that level of tired where everything was making me cry. In the warm evenings, I felt even more hot and bothered than I usually would. I felt constantly hungry and run down, but didn’t really fancy eating anything either. Smoothies became my best friend – I find when I’m low on energy having lazy pre-made smoothie in the fridge can really help pull me through.

    I’ve got five days off work in total, the weekend included. I felt better the minute I left the office on Thursday. I knew I was feeling more myself, because I spent the whole journey home looking forward to tucking into a big ol’ portion of pasta bake.

    Friday was for catching up on jobs around the flat, although not before I’d watched all five new episodes of Emily in Paris. – It was amazing! I swear it just keeps getting better season after season and it was the perfect dose of life in Paris after the Olympics left me craving a visit.

    Yesterday, Dave and I went into town to grab a cheap lunch, watch the football and have a wander. It was sunny, but not too hot and the flower beds around town were looking lovelier than ever. It felt so nice to just be able to spend a Saturday on home turf and we had such a good afternoon, even if the pub’s TV kept losing signal at crucial moments.

    Today we’re up and at ’em and off to my grandparents for lunch with them and my immediate family and then we’re popping in to see a couple of our closest friends and their adorable little man, who just turned two. 

    And tomorrow?… *Drum roll please* Tomorrow I’m going to see Taylor Swift at Wembley!!

    Confession – I’m not a massive Swiftie. One of my best friends and I decided it’d be a super fun way to celebrate turning 30, but neither of us know Taylor’s library inside and out. We got through high school together listening to Taylor’s early hits on repeat and obsessing over how cute the music video for ‘You Belong with Me’ was. But unlike most Swifties, we haven’t been studying the line ups of her other recent shows, we’ve been swiping past every TikTok video from her tour so far and we’re looking forward to being surprised. I have a feeling therefore that we have no idea what we’re in for and we are going to be absolutely blown away. I feel so incredibly lucky to be in a position to be able to go and I’ve no doubt I will cry many tears.

    It’s been impossible not to pick up on the fact that friendship bracelets are a must, so we are going to make some of those. I’m so excited to be sat at hers tomorrow, making our bracelets, listening to Taylor and experiencing that pre-concert buzz that is unlike anything else.

    Right now though? It’s time to hit the road for my grandparents and the early start has hit me a little harder than expected. Whilst I felt so much lighter leaving the office on Thursday night, my butterflies this morning feel like a gentle reminder that I still need to take care. Tiredness doesn’t go away just like that.

    Early start aside, a day at my grandparents may be exactly what I need. My Granny’s roast is better than any other, her garden is most beautiful in the summer and it’ll be so lovely to see everyone.

    It’s a couple of hours drive in the car to get there – I wonder how Dave would feel about a couple of hours spent shuffling Taylor Swift songs on Spotify. There’s nothing better than music when you need a little boost.

  • Thirty and Thriving 🙌

    Thirty and Thriving 🙌

    It’s Sunday, the sun is shining and we’ve a roast dinner cooking away – nothing makes me happier than a day like this one. We’ve got family staying, I’m one beer down and I’m feeling more chilled than I have in ages. (Besides the football nerves of course – it’s been a nervy couple of weeks for England fans across the country and tonight’s game could be a turning point. Yes, I’m remaining optimistic!)

    My 30th has been and gone and it was FAB, but unfortunately it did coincide with a particularly stressful time at work and between full-on working days and celebrations I’ve barely had a moment to breathe.

    It always says something when I’m feeling like writing again. It says I’m coming out of the other side, my brain is clear of fog and the butterflies are less consuming. Hooray to that and thanks for sticking with me while Chapter Seven hit pause for a short while.

    Even full of brain fog and butterflies, 30 has brought with it a new confidence for me.

    I confess, I had a mini-meltdown on my birthday eve. All I could think was how much I hadn’t done yet. Suddenly my biggest regret in all the world was not having run a half marathon for example, in spite of the fact I’ve never enjoyed running and I’ve never even completed Couch to 5K. BUT since then, I’ve found being 30 somehow has me feeling like I can own my space more and like I’ve earned the right to live authentically and with confidence.

    Thirty has me ordering whisky neat, popping prosecco open without faffing and aiming higher at work and I’m excited to see how long I can ride this wave for.

    I’m so grateful to every person who chose to celebrate with me. I felt so loved throughout my birthday celebrations and there can be no doubt that’s brought me closer to the place I’m in now.

    Now, I know age is just a number. And if you’re reading this in your early twenties, please don’t let your age stop you from owning your space right now. Or if you’re way past 30 and still not feeling confident, please don’t let this make you feel you’re behind – you’re wonderful as you are and everyone is on their own timeline.

    But if you’re reading this on your approach to thirty, worried about reaching the milestone without having done everything you expected, please know that it’s not an ending. It’s just the beginning and there’s so much to be excited about yet. Celebrate all that you have achieved and own your space knowing you’re going into life’s next chapter with more wisdom than you’ve ever had before. In my timeline, I’ve a feeling thirty is where I start to come into my own.

  • Fake it ’til you make it 🍹

    Fake it ’til you make it 🍹

    My cheeks feel warm and rosy, in that way they only do after a couple of days out in the sunshine. Those chilly gale force winds seem to have passed through and this weekend has been verging on summery!

    It turns out Angel, Islington is the perfect place to spend a sunny Saturday afternoon. Yesterday was spent window shopping, brunch eating and wandering around with a bestie and what felt like the entire population of London. So many people had decided Angel was the place to be! People watching on the train on the way in, I couldn’t help noticing how energised people were by the sunshine. I noticed some people had proceeded with caution – opting for layers – whilst others had gone full steam ahead into flip-flops, dresses and summer hats. My outfit landed somewhere in the middle and I was grateful for my cardigan by the end of the day.

    I was certain I’d been to Angel before, but if I have I’ve clearly never stumbled upon the markets and the cute shops because I’d have remembered if I had. I was absolutely in my element! I could have bought the entire contents of one particularly cute book shop and nearly everything in an independent home store.

    We were in Angel to view a space above a pub, which we’re booking to celebrate our 30th birthdays in. It’s absolutely perfect and I’m now more excited about my birthday than ever. We both left absolutely buzzing and headed straight to a pub with outside seating for an Aperol Spritz each and a couple of glasses of wine.

    I spent today wandering around town with another bestie, fuelled by coffee and nattering about work, life and all that we have to look forward to over the next few years.

    It really feels like we’re proper grown ups nowadays. And yet there’s still so much I’m trying to figure out. On one hand, I can’t wait for what’s to come – I know I cannot wait to buy a house and decorate it the way I like, but on the other, I’ve quite enjoyed renting free from worries about decorating and handling repairs. I feel almost ready to be a Mum, but at times I can barely handle worrying about the cats. Sometimes I feel like I’m really acing it at work and others I feel like I’m just faking it till I make it. I walked down the Superdrug make-up aisle today and realised I may know which mascaras I like and don’t like, but I’ve still no idea how to use lip liner or a highlighter pen. I can walk into a pub and confidently browse the wine menu, but I’ll still pay closer attention to the prices than the descriptions of the wines themselves.

    I guess even when you’re all grown up, you’re always learning hey? It’s kind of comforting to think that being an adult isn’t something you can just level up into. I think the closer to 30 I get, the more I realise that even real, proper grown-ups don’t have it all figured out. We just take the lemons life gives us and we get better and better at making lemonade. It helps to have good friends that’s for sure. Especially the kind of friends who will take your picture when your drink perfectly matches your blouse or who will help you search for the perfect pressed powder when the make-up aisle has you feeling clueless, flustered and like you’re 16 again.

  • Healthy Changes 🪟

    Healthy Changes 🪟

    Some New Healthy Daily Habits Have Helped With My Mental and Physical Wellbeing.

    I’ve made a few really healthy changes this week and I’m well chuffed about it.

    We re-arranged my desk on Monday so that I can see out of the window more easily. When I’m sat at my desk working, no-matter how confident and motivated I feel, I’m filled with adrenaline. I imagine this feeling is heightened for me, because I’m a nervous Nellie, but this is probably the case for most of us: We’re switched on when we’re at our desk, especially when we’re keeping a lot of plates spinning.

    Looking out of the window, even if just for a moment, helps me to breathe deeper. It’s made such a huge difference.

    Moving my desk around has also allowed me to create space for writing and planning. When I ordered one of Papier’s daily planners last year, I did it for what I now think were all the wrong reasons. The perfectionist in me imagined it would allow me to live the ‘perfect’ life, never forget anything again and achieve way more every day.

    I’ve picked it back up again, but this time simply to get a little more organised. I’m also using the habit tracker more consistently, but I’m starting achievable habits. I’ve been trying to eat a piece of fruit a day for example. And I’ve pledged to get moving each day.

    We also worked out this week that, with my Chilly’s bottle only holding 500ml of water, I need to drink at least 4 bottles a day to be fully hydrated! FOUR! Is is just me that never realised just how much water we need in our life? I drink water all the time and still only re-fill my bottle once a day! This week I’ve been consciously trying to be better and it could be the placebo effect, but I swear I feel better already.

    Bank holiday weekend has been for quality time with our nearest and dearest. Coming to you today from the sofa at my Granny and Grandad’s beautiful home. I can hear the clock ticking, the oven whirring and not much else and in spite of lack of sleep, I am feeling calmer than I have in a while.

    Happy Easter to those who celebrate! And to those who don’t, Happy Sunday. Hope yours also brings you calm, even if only for a moment.

  • Enjoying the now

    Enjoying the now

    My flights to L.A are booked and there are only 52 days now until I’ll be posting from a, hopefully sunny, California. So, if you’re reading this and you have any recommendations for where to find the best food in LA, let me know!

    Time is absolutely flying by and everyone keeps telling me it’ll be no time at all before Dave and I are reunited at the airport, Love Actually style. Although, me being me, you can bet I’ll trip and fall flat on my face or I’ll get lost and head to the wrong exit or I’ll mistake a total stranger for Dave from behind and embarrass myself tremendously.

    But I’m not wishing the time away. If I could click my fingers and be with Dave tomorrow, I would, but seeing as I can’t, I’m determined to carry on making the best of things between now and then.

    Now the days are getting longer in the UK, I’m getting out for some beautiful walks. Although I’m finding I have to pick my moments. Whilst walking every day was something I enjoyed when Dave was on home turf, I’m currently finding that on the wrong day a walk leaves me too alone with my thoughts.

    But I’ve discovered some amazing podcasts, thanks to recommendations from friends, and they make me feel like I’ve got company even when I’m washing up at home. Thanks to them, I spend a lot of time laughing instead of feeling lonely.

    One of my best friends recently had a beautiful, healthy baby boy and two of my best friends have hen-dos next month. One of those lovely ladies gets married in April, just before I fly.

    There’s too much to be grateful for and excited about between now and my flight, for me to wish the time away.

    The older we get the quicker the time flies hey? So, if I were to leave you with a pearl of wisdom, true Blog with Bron style, then it would be to think short-term. Know what your end goal is. Know what you’re aiming for. But focus most of all on the chunk of life in front of you. Make decisions in the present based on where you want to end up, but don’t let excitement about reaching that goal stop you enjoying the now.

  • Saying Goodbye: Family time in the Scottish Highlands

    Saying Goodbye: Family time in the Scottish Highlands

    It’s been some time since my last post, it’s nearly party season and I’m still nowhere near full of beans.

    I am up early today and packed for a few days away in the BEAUTIFUL Scottish Highlands with family. We’re staying in Kinlochleven – a village that’s full of special memories for us a family. My Auntie Debra lived in a lovely little flat in the village until she died in September 2020. We’re headed up to say one final goodbye to the place she called home and hand the keys over so that someone else can go on to make magical memories there.

    We’ve got a long drive ahead of us and the next few days may be hard at times, but I’m in high spirits right now and looking forward to quality time with some of my nearest and dearest, whatever the circumstances. The last time I was in Kinlochleven, I ordered the scrummiest meat and potatoes in a local pub. And I enjoyed so many wonderful walks around Loch Leven itself. This time, I should be able to do all of those things again, but whilst also supporting my Mum and her younger sister and making time to remember and reflect.

    It’s been a shaky few weeks already. Life’s had me permanently frazzled, wandering when I’m going to fall flat on my face and mess it all up. I keep thinking I’m going to forget something important or drop the ball on something. BUT I’m here now having survived it all and somehow kept on top of things. And I’m going to get through the next few days too.

    I think the older I get, the more I’m learning that you can only be so prepared. In fact, people rarely feel fully prepared for anything. We’re all just figuring it out as we go.

  • All Storms Really Do Pass

    All Storms Really Do Pass

    Honestly? This week wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. On Tuesday, returning to work after the bank holiday, I had a really rubbish brain day. My head was full of fluff and anxiety and everything felt difficult. I stumbled through, but by the end of it, I had a mighty tension headache and tears in my eyes. Luckily, I have some wonderful people around me who got me through and I went to sleep full of pasta and feeling more human.

    By Friday, I was headed into London for a day at the office and the butterflies were a distant memory. And things just got better from there. Being in the office rejuvenated me and left me feeling more motivated on the work front. Seeing some lovely colleagues gave me a proper boost too. And then Friday night we saw some friends who never fail to chill me out and make me smile. I woke up yesterday morning full of beans and ready to enjoy a night away with Dave.

    I woke up this Sunday morning to the sound of rain hammering away on the wooden roof of the glamping pod we were staying in. Boiling the kettle to make a cup of tea, to sip in front of the rainy window, felt like the perfect way to welcome in Autumn.

    Now we’re home and the flat is as warm as it was in the summer, even with the blinds doing their best to keep the sun at bay and us cool. I don’t mind too much though. I’m in a comfy dress with a glass of water on the go and the memories of our cosy morning still fresh in my mind.

    And so there you have it: All storms really do pass. And if you’re feeling sucky right now, take care of yourself, reach out for support and trust the process. You’ll find the fog will clear and one day soon you’ll feel a bit more like facing whatever is in your path. And I hope at that point, some good stuff comes your way and makes you smile too.

  • Week Thirty-Six: Settling Into Our New Home

    Week Thirty-Six: Settling Into Our New Home

    The house move has gone surprisingly smoothly for me. Especially considering my inability to accept change, close attachment to places and things and general emotional-ness.

    I was super emotional when we eventually said goodbye to the flat, but in my defence, it had been one of those weeks anyway and I was due a good cry. Also, it was so strange seeing the flat all naked and empty and knowing it wasn’t ours anymore.

    I think what’s made the move so much easier is that our new place literally ticks all the boxes. Life’s so much easier with a washing line and a designated cupboard for bedding and towels and under bed storage and a station nearby. And the house felt so homey so quickly too! The owner has decorated it so brightly and it was funished with a few bits and pieces before we even got all of our stuff in.

    And my goodness do we have a lot of stuff! How two people can own so many things and have kept them in a 1 bed flat for so long I do not know. It’s also not until you try and pack your life into boxes you realise how fragile literally everything is! From kitchenware to ornaments and frames, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of bubble wrap!

    September 1st came around and the new house was sorted and the next few gigs with the band were confirmed and that autumn chill appeared from nowhere. Then, I got my boots out and I saw that Primark have their Disney Christmas tinsel out already and suddenly, I felt so much brighter again.

    Autumn is hands-down the best time of year. I can’t wait for the first trees to go orange and brown and the first crisp frosty morning and the first time I get all wrapped up in a snug coat and scarf and the first hot chocolate on a chilly evening! I know September might have a few summery days left in it yet, but I live for this time of year and I’m so excited!

  • Week Nineteen: Living our Twenties to the Max

    Week Nineteen: Living our Twenties to the Max

    I’ve had no plans at all this weekend and usually I’d be hating life: Sitting doing nothing would be giving me way too much time to think on things and I’d be going stir crazy faster than you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidoscious. This weekend I clearly just needed to shut down; I’ve done nothing and for once in my life I’ve actually kinda enjoyed it.

    The last few weeks have been the good kinda crazy, but I’m not surprised they’ve left me in need of rest and recuperation:

    Game of Thrones is back and Monday nights are a whole load more exciting as a result (I don’t care what any of you fake fans say about how disappointing it’s been… they have a plan! And come the end of this season, you’ll all be eating your words. I’m sure that the biggest shocks and horrors are yet to come.)

    A couple of weekends ago, I went around London walking in the footsteps of 21 amazing women, inspired by Jenni Murray’s ‘A History of Britain in 21 Women‘ – a book I’d highly recommend. I went with one of my bestest friends and we had to battle wind and pollen to get around, but we made it through. I’m so glad we did it. It made for a really lovely day and in a way, it felt like we paid our own little tribute to each and every one of them.

    On the topic of recommendations, last weekend I saw Waitress the Musical in the theatre on the West End and it was amazing. Waitress is a musical comedy, but it deals with some really serious issues. The content is handled very sensitively and cleverly and in a way that makes it an incredibly powerful piece of theatre. The music is incredible. Take tissues. Because you’ll laugh so hard you’ll cry and then you’ll just cry too.

    I also recommend ‘Bounce‘ in Farringdon for those London folk. I went there for the first time last weekend with one of my besties and some of her friends and it was so much fun! It’s a ping-pong bar, for those who don’t know. The tables are interactive and allow you to play all kinds of games as well as standard table tennis. We went on a Saturday night and the music was FAB. And the nachos were good too.

    Dave and I also had our first bbq of the year with some lovely friends of ours who just moved up to Manchester! I always feel like the first BBQ of the year is of extremely high importance. It signifies the start of all things summery. It was a little chilly out and we didn’t last sat outside for long, but it was SO GOOD to be eating burgers and hot dogs, outside, off of paper plates, all the same.

    I can hardly believe where the time is going. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that either. Nearly every person I speak to can’t believe it’s May already. YES IT IS MAY ALREADY. And nearly all of my friends seem to be living lives just as manic, if not more manic than mine is. Since when were there simply not enough hours in any of our days?

    I’m not complaining. I’m happy for us. We’re all living our twenties to the max and that’s the way it should be! I’m just relieved that the evenings are lighter for the moment. We need all the daylight time we can get.

  • Week Nine: Normality is underrated and not to be taken for granted

    Week Nine: Normality is underrated and not to be taken for granted

    Monday morning I rolled over to grab the tv remote, turned on the news and snoozed for ten minutes. I rolled out of bed and into the shower. I didn’t have time for a cuppa (because of the snooze – so worth it on a Monday morning) and I headed straight to the station once I was showered and dressed.

    Pause there – I have to mention the weather.  The weather in England, was unheard of at the start of this week. In England, for three days it was t shirt weather. It was unseasonably warm and bright and sunny. The daffodils came out and everything.

    Monday night, I got home, Dave and I cooked dinner together and then we watched TV until I fell asleep on him and had to go to bed.

    Tuesday evening I met one of my best friends for dinner and we chatted away about books and music and exciting upcoming events (including one of our best friend’s wedding, eek!). My Gourmet Burger Kitchen burger was amazing and I journeyed home with my head in my book and smile on my face.

    Wednesday was a normal working from home day. I did two loads of washing. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen on my lunch break. I was in my element with the sun shining and the windows open and music playing. Another bud on the orchid that I have successfully grown, flowered beautifully. (Yes, I have successfully gotten an orchid to flower! Am I a real life adult now?) I played piano before dinner and then Dave and I cooked steaks and watched Oceans 8.

    Thursday evening I met my sister for dinner which was super lovely. We had the best of evenings and I hope we’ll meet for dinner like that more often from now on. Sister time is golden.

    Dave and I stayed at our friends’ on Friday night. They’re the best hosts ever and it was super chilled and super fun.

    Saturday afternoon, once Dave and I were home, we just chillaxed. I read and snoozed on the sofa. We had chilli for dinner. We watched Goodfellas, which I totally agree is one of the best films ever. We drank wine and didn’t clock watch. I love not having to watch the clock on Friday and Saturday nights!

    Right now, I’m sat on the sofa trying and failing to eat hula hoops, because I’ve put a face mask on and it’s dried too much for me to open my mouth. I woke up with a tummy full of butterflies and I felt like my head might explode. But I knew exactly what I had to do: I opened up the notes app on my phone and titled the note ‘Things that are stressing me out’. Then I wrote everything down until I felt better. I had a chat with my Dad which cheered me up no end. (Shout out to my Dad!). And now I’m committed to an afternoon of relaxation to make sure the butterflies are behind me.

    I’ve always been more than happy to natter away openly about my anxiety and the challenges I am facing. The problem with writing a personal blog is that there is often stuff that happens in life that it’s not your place to share with the whole world wide web.

    When I wrote at the end of Week Four, I mentioned that the year had gotten off to a tough start and I couldn’t really say anymore than that. I can’t really say anymore than that even now.

    What I will say is that I’ve come to the realisation that normality is underrated and routine is not to be taken for granted. When things are ticking along just fine, we often find ourselves complaining we’re bored, but we don’t realise how lucky we are. Because when life turns upside down, you’ll find all you want is for life to go back to being boring again. 

    I’m so glad March has come around. Spring in on the way and things can only get better.

  • Week Four: Celebrating Small Wins

    Week Four: Celebrating Small Wins

    Week four of 2019 began, for all of us, with Blue Monday. On Blue Monday, I felt surprisingly yellow. I spent the tube journey smiling to myself like a fool. I was determined not to let the whole ‘Blue Monday’ label convince me that it was going to be a difficult day. After all, I did a little bit of research and it turns out that Blue Monday is a term which was created by a holiday company just to sell trips abroad! I’d had a wonderful weekend with a lovely friend and it’d left me feeling refreshed and determined. I’d decided this week was my do-over. Chapter five, take two.

    It’s been a tough start to the year, for reasons I can’t really share with the world wide web. This was the first week I was back to some kind of normality again. This week, I had to go back to answering the question ‘How are you?’ without crying. In the end, this week was definitely a week for cutting myself some slack and giving myself a pat on the back for the little things I did better. Tough start to the year or not, I think we should all get better at rewarding ourselves for the small, everyday successes. Life’s not easy, even at the best of times…

    Tuesday I worked from home, caught up on some studying, got myself organised for the rest of the week and made a sandwich for lunch on Wednesday. (making the sandwich was a step in the right direction sure, but it took all of two minutes, which did cause me to question why I ever spend money on lunch and can’t seem to make time to simply butter some bread and stick some ham on it every evening).

    On Wednesday morning the butterflies woke up when I did and I wanted to hide away at home and go back to sleep. I perked myself up, kicked myself into action and that night, spent a lovely evening with a group of friends at an amazing italian restaurant called Pasta Brown. It’s in Covent Garden and if you haven’t been and you can go, you should. I had the Penne Pasta Brown and a slice of chocolate fudge cake and left very full and very happy. So full and happy that I fell asleep at 9:30pm, shortly after getting home.

    The week soon came to an end and it’s been a chilled weekend thank goodness. Yesterday morning’s lie-in made me feel brand new. I left bed to grab tea, breakfast and my book. I then sat with the tv on (Saturday Kitchen made good background) and read, in bed, until lunch time.  In the afternoon Dave and I headed into London to meet two friends for a drink and a bite to eat. We hadn’t seen them in FOREVER and it was super lovely to catch up.

    I was up reading late last night and indulged in another glorious lie-in this morning. I’m now nearly half way through Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and I am COMPLETELY hooked. It’s amazing.

    Now Week Four’s nearly over and I’m just pleased I got up and at ’em every day and I was organised for once.

    Dave and I are headed back to Chelmsford for the day today. Roast dinner at my mum and dad’s and over to see his parents’ too. I love Sundays.

    2019 is just beginning. Plenty of time for resolutions yet.