Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: christmas

  • Festive Season Butterflies: Finding peace at the busiest time of the year ðŸŽ„

    Festive Season Butterflies: Finding peace at the busiest time of the year ðŸŽ„

    This morning was meant to be a slow morning. Yesterday was spent running in and out of shops getting the last of our Christmas presents and then putting our tree up, before flopping in front of the Strictly Come Dancing final with a glass of red. When we eventually flopped, I felt so happy at the thought of a lazy evening and a lazy morning to follow it.

    Then, disappointingly, I woke up at 6 am with a head full of anxious thoughts. I restlessly snoozed for a couple more hours before giving in and getting up to get myself a cup of tea. I found that, even curled up on the sofa looking at our lovely little Christmas tree, I couldn’t chill. I reviewed my to-do list to confirm to myself there was nothing urgent that needed actioning, but even that didn’t work. 08;45 came around and with that, my prompt to fill in my gratitude journal for the day and yet, even a moment of gratitude didn’t calm my anxious brain.

    Isn’t this time of year the most wonderful and the most stressful all at once!?

    If you’re anything like me, one moment you’re joyfully singing along to Mariah Carey and then the next you’re panic shopping for little extras in the Christmassy aisle of your local supermarket or re-doing your sums in a panic that you’ve not budgeted correctly after all and you’re going to find yourself bankrupt by Christmas Eve.

    I love this time of year. I really do. The twinkling lights everywhere you go. The Christmas songs playing in every shop and on the radio whenever you get in the car. The quality time with family and friends. The glorious amount of food and drink for those of us who are privileged enough. The general cheer.

    I even love the Winter. The late sunrises which on a clear day can fill your home with sunlight. The dark, gloomy evenings spent chilling with candles lit. The woolen jumpers and socks and hats that help us keep warm. I think that’s one of the reasons this time of year can be so hard in the more anxious moments. The days are short, the weather is cold and yet, instead of cosying down we can find ourselves feeling obligated to get out and about more than ever. This can lead to tiredness, which can niggle away at our mental health.

    I also totally buy into the concept of rounding off one year and then entering another and I enjoy that process. I think it’s important to rest and reflect before diving head first into another year of resolutions and adventures. But at the busiest time of year, it’s hard to make time to rest and reflect and before we know it, Christmas can come and go without us having taken a single moment to properly savour it or plan for what’s ahead.

    And so, I think it’s about finding peace where you can and if peace doesn’t come easily, persisting until you find a way.

    In the end, after I’d filled in my gratitude journal, I grabbed myself a bowl of cereal and scrolled through Spotify in search of something festive yet calming, that might help me get some rest. I stumbled upon Nora Jones’ Christmas album and finally caught my breath. She’s been keeping me steady ever since and I’m now thoroughly enjoying typing away whilst sipping another cup of tea.

    For those who have been keeping up with Chapter Seven, BIG NEWS! Dave and I have found a house which we really love! There’s a long way to go yet until it’s officially ours, but we’re over the moon and very excited. We’ve also started the extremely daunting conveyancing process, which of course means there are all sorts of other things cluttering up my anxious brain at the moment.

    Which brings me to my final point…

    It’s not just Christmas. Life goes on throughout the festive season. And keeping up with life on top of all of the wonderful festivities can be A LOT. So, give yourself grace. Listen to the calmer Christmas music. Light a candle and watch the flame for a little while. Turn the Christmas Tree lights on and day dream. Whatever you’ve got going on this year, find some peace where you can and remember to look after yourself.

  • A wonderful Christmas time

    I’m sat in the lounge drinking tea. I’m surrounded by Christmas decorations. The fireplace is cluttered with ornamental robins, Santas, snowmen and candles. The darker it gets outside, the brighter the lights on the tree and in the window shine. The whole room looks cheerful and I feel cheerful too.

    I had a piano lesson this afternoon. It’s been nearly five years since I gave up on my grade 5 and decided to focus on my singing. Now that I’m making money again I figure I can afford to allocate funds to getting back on the music band wagon. I’m so excited to be getting back into it again. The lesson was amazing… Just like back in the good old days: I’ve even got a practice diary.

    Had a singing lesson last week too! There’s a strong possibility I’m going to be singing in concerts come April next year and as nervous as the thought of that makes me, it’ll be so good to be performing again.

    I’ve one day off this week and it’s tomorrow. I’m going Christmas shopping with one of my best friends and I am so looking forward to it. She’s studying in Cambridge so it’s a chance to get away for the day as well. It’ll be a day full of laughter I’m sure. We both shop alike, so even though we’ve both got loads of presents to buy, it should be a stress free day. We’ll stop for plenty of tea and cake too. We’re going to need it.

    I’m still working lots. If you spoke to any of my friends they’d probably tell you I’m a tired mess, but I’m not. I enjoy a grumble over how much work I’m doing and how my feet permanently hurt and how my body clock can’t work out when to sleep and when to wake up anymore, but really, I’m doing alright. I still fit down time in here and there.

    It’s the most wonderful time of year and so far, I’m still loving hearing the Christmas songs everywhere I go.

  • Smiling like a student home for Christmas

    I’m finally home.

    My last two days in Cardiff before Christmas were so much better than I expected. I was expecting to simply spend them at the flat, by myself, working my last couple of shifts and watching the clock tick by. BUT my amazing flatmate stuck around an extra day after her last shift at her work (I’m not the only one juggling a job and a degree) to keep me company… We spent Christmas eve’s eve curled up with wine and chocolates, watching a film, exchanging presents and then talking until the early hours of the morning.

    Christmas eve wasn’t far from perfect. I succeeded in getting out of bed, despite the late night, and had breakfast with her before she headed out to get her train home. Then I finished packing, got ready and headed into work for my final shift. Work was the same as always, except for the fact I didn’t start till ten, we were all in comic Christmas costumes and there were ridiculous amounts of staff room snacks.

    My dad and sister met me at the flat after my shift. The drive home was so exciting I’m surprised I didn’t cry. Instead I just sat there smiling hugely and constantly reminding my dad and my little sister that I was ridiculously happy. I got home, stole hugs, went to bed and before I knew it, it was Christmas day.

    Christmas day was overwhelming. I’d only just got home, before I was jumping in the car and heading to my grandparents home. I ate so much food I’m surprised I didn’t explode. I nearly overheated in a house full of radiators that felt like an oven in comparison to my student flat. I saw my grand parents and the entirety of my dad’s side of the family all at once, when I’d only just gotten used to having my immediate family around again. I got loads of lovely presents and woke up boxing day morning to find myself out on a walk in the country side (which I think I had forgotten existed).

    Since then I’ve been unpacking, getting organised, working out how to make the most of three weeks at home and worrying about how I’m going to get all my uni work done.

    Today, I stopped worrying and I spent a whole day doing nothing for the first time in a long time. Having been on an amazing night out last night, I spent the morning in bed and then a few hours after that curled up on the sofa, cautiously eating dry toast and tomato soup, wondering if a hang over was going to hit me any time soon. Now I’m sat in my bedroom, having finally showered at five in the evening, wearing my onesie, singing along to my iTunes library, waiting for roast dinner to be cooked and smiling ear to ear.

    All I need to do now is decide what I’m going to say when I get to the hairdressers tomorrow morning, sit down in the chair and he asks me how I want my hair.

    Being me, I’ll consider cutting it all off, I’ll wonder if it’s about time I dyed it a crazy colour, I’ll tell myself I should try something new for the new year then I’ll decide I’d like it just the way it is, but just slightly shorter please.