Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: health

  • Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Today’s the best kind of Sunday – I’m off out to meet one of my best friends for a roast dinner and a country walk. The pub we’ve found for Sunday roast is so popular that they called me on Friday just to make sure we still wanted our table and it couldn’t be offered to someone else. I bet the roast potatoes will be super yummy.

    This week has been a bit of an uphill struggle and not only did I feel anxious and tired and headachy and run down as I so frequently do, but I made it worse by stressing about why I might be feeling that way at a time when life is supposedly pretty good.

    I sat on the sofa one night running over everything I could possibly be stressing about this time. Work? Fine. Friendships? Pretty fab. Family? Love ’em. Cats? Happy and healthy. Life admin? Manageable.

    It never gets easier to accept that anxiety is a part of my life and that it can be an irrational response to simply just being.

    But I’m not too mad I over thought it, as I’ve done some research over the weekend which has been really enlightening. I think maybe my hormones took a swing at a certain time in a certain monthly cycle. It’s been comforting to read that, if that is the case, I’m not alone. Turns out there are multiple times in the month when those of us with cycles can feel more in a tizz and that hormones can do their thing more often as we got older. Whilst this is miserable news, it is comforting to think that maybe next time I’ll be a little gentler with myself. 30 years behind me and still learning new things about my body and my butterflies all the time.

    Pleased to have made it through in spite of it all. I had a productive week at work and it’s been a lovely weekend so far, full of time with friends. On Friday night I went to visit a friend and her absolutely precious new born baby girl. Last night, I was out celebrating one of my best friend’s 30th birthday at a London pub. The tube got suspended and I ended up getting the bus and then taking a walk through Wandsworth Park to get there, which was BEAUTIFUL. Once there, I had the best time playing pool, nattering with lovely ladies I haven’t seen in ages and saying cheers to the birthday girl with bubbles and cupcakes.

    Today, I’m excited for roast potatoes, a long overdue catch up and I’m excited to get in the car and listen to Taylor Swift at top volume… If I wasn’t a Swiftie before going to the Eras tour, I most definitely am now. I’m currently making my way through ‘evermore’ and loving every moment. Also am currently obsessed with Raye’s album ’21st Century Blues’ and Cat Burns’ ‘Early Twenties’.

    Happy Sunday all! Lessons learned this week – we should all go a little easier on ourselves when we feel run down, because sometimes our bodies just need a rest. Time with friends is so precious and always worth pushing through for. And being thrown off the tube isn’t always a bad thing, because taking a new route can be pretty wonderful.

  • Healthy Changes 🪟

    Healthy Changes 🪟

    Some New Healthy Daily Habits Have Helped With My Mental and Physical Wellbeing.

    I’ve made a few really healthy changes this week and I’m well chuffed about it.

    We re-arranged my desk on Monday so that I can see out of the window more easily. When I’m sat at my desk working, no-matter how confident and motivated I feel, I’m filled with adrenaline. I imagine this feeling is heightened for me, because I’m a nervous Nellie, but this is probably the case for most of us: We’re switched on when we’re at our desk, especially when we’re keeping a lot of plates spinning.

    Looking out of the window, even if just for a moment, helps me to breathe deeper. It’s made such a huge difference.

    Moving my desk around has also allowed me to create space for writing and planning. When I ordered one of Papier’s daily planners last year, I did it for what I now think were all the wrong reasons. The perfectionist in me imagined it would allow me to live the ‘perfect’ life, never forget anything again and achieve way more every day.

    I’ve picked it back up again, but this time simply to get a little more organised. I’m also using the habit tracker more consistently, but I’m starting achievable habits. I’ve been trying to eat a piece of fruit a day for example. And I’ve pledged to get moving each day.

    We also worked out this week that, with my Chilly’s bottle only holding 500ml of water, I need to drink at least 4 bottles a day to be fully hydrated! FOUR! Is is just me that never realised just how much water we need in our life? I drink water all the time and still only re-fill my bottle once a day! This week I’ve been consciously trying to be better and it could be the placebo effect, but I swear I feel better already.

    Bank holiday weekend has been for quality time with our nearest and dearest. Coming to you today from the sofa at my Granny and Grandad’s beautiful home. I can hear the clock ticking, the oven whirring and not much else and in spite of lack of sleep, I am feeling calmer than I have in a while.

    Happy Easter to those who celebrate! And to those who don’t, Happy Sunday. Hope yours also brings you calm, even if only for a moment.

  • Exploring London: Discovering Live Music in Whitechapel and the V&A Museum

    Exploring London: Discovering Live Music in Whitechapel and the V&A Museum

    Life’s been busy, good busy and this weekend has been a good’un. I spent most of it in my favourite city in the world…

    Friday night I headed to the George Tavern in Whitechapel with some people from work. It’s a live music venue and the musicians who played were all so talented! ‘Friend of Dave’ was a beat-boxer equipped with a maraca and a harmonica and you would not believe the textures he created all by himself. He played feel good tunes that put smiles on everyone’s faces. ‘Austrumkalns’ were a Latvian ensemble. They are a flautist, cellist, violinist, guitarist and percussionist and they played Latvian folk songs. They were beautiful. They even planted Latvian dancers in the pub to get everyone on their feet. I had one of them ‘must mentally capture this and store the memory vividly forever’ moments. The headliners were ‘Erin Black and the Devil’s Hand’ who were fantastic. Every member of the band was super talented, all introduced individually at the beginning of the set. They had every single person captivated until the set ended and everyone darted out for their last trains home, myself included.

    Saturday I met a good friend for lunch in Kensington before heading over to the V&A for the Opera Passion exhibition. I highly recommend the Lebanese restaurant we went to (Comptoir Libanais), which I believe is part of a chain. I had halloumi and tomato and a lamb tagine and loved every single bite. We finished the meal off with a mint tea and a hot chocolate (hot chocolate for me, of course) and then headed back out into the rain to get to the museum. The exhibition itself was brilliant. No spoilers, go check it out if you can! I’d never been to the V&A before and I’m going to have to go back. So many things captured my interest on the way through! May need more than one visit. I had no idea how humongous it was.

    Another lovely friend of mine came to stay last night. We had a proper girls night and it was simply lovely. Highlights include listening to Sam Smith’s new album, popping open a bottle of prosecco and face masks.

    I’m curled up on the sofa with a cuppa right now. Shark Tale’s on the TV and it’s just coming to the end credits. Car Wash is playing, you know the scene?, and I’ve just turned the volume up. I think once I’ve finished writing this I’m going to have chicken kievs for dinner. I’m going to carry on reading Lauren Graham’s autobiography while it cooks. It’s based around her time spent playing Loralai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls, it was a Christmas present and I’m loving it. It’s a lot of fun.

    I’ve started learning a Katie Melua piece on the piano, so I ought to get a little more practice in tonight too. I’m pretending like it’s not Monday tomorrow. What is it about Mondays? I’ve butterflies just thinking about it. In this case though, we’re really truly in it together. We’ll all struggle through Monday morning and we’ll all be alright once we’ve had a cup of tea or coffee or two.

  • Powering through Fresher’s flu

    Can you still call it Fresher’s flu when you’re in your second year and you’re not a fresher anymore? Student flu perhaps? University flu? An adult cold?

    Whatever you call it, I’ve been poorly this week and had I written this just 24 hours ago it would have been filled with complaints.

    Yesterday, I had a horrendous day: I broke a glass when I was washing up, I found loads of important unread emails from my university, the internet kept crashing while I was trying to send replies, I nearly blew up the kitchen because I didn’t realise there was oil in the bottom of the oven when I turned it on and let it heat up to 200 degrees celsius… Ok, so the day could have been much worse, but with a runny nose and a head that felt the size of Jupiter I found myself curled up in bed with a sad face on wanting to do absolutely nothing, except perhaps head back to Chelmsford and curl up there with a cup of tea and my family.

    My cold ridden self did however manage to book herself an audition for Cardiff University’s opera this semester and did manage to reply to emails despite the lack of internet connection. The audition is Monday evening and I’m… I’m not saying I’m terrified, not if admitting that means risking the return of butterflies just as I’m enjoying a beautiful and much needed bowl of Crunchy Nut cereal.

    Once I’d had dinner I started to feel slightly better and my amazing friend gave me a glass of wine and convinced me out of the house and into a night club for the night. (My decision may have also been influenced by the fact it was ‘Propaganda’s Giveaway Party’ and they claimed to be handing out Nandos vouchers.) I had an amazing night, forgot all about my nose and my head, bought McDonald’s at the end of it and still made it out of bed and to enrolment this morning.

    Despite the fact I felt a little nervous when my alarm went off and I realised it was time to head into the music department for the first time this semester, once I was up and about I was surprisingly calm. By the time I was walking towards the university I was on a high just because I’d conquered step one: Get out of bed and make it out the front door by nine. Enrolment was much simpler than it was first year. Maybe because there was less to do, or maybe just because I was better prepared and less scared.

    My cold is back to haunt me this afternoon, the Tesco near me aren’t selling the Beechams’ cold medicine that until now I haven’t made it through a cold without and the audition is on Monday but my throat hurts and my cough doesn’t seem as if it will be going away anytime soon. I’m eating a late breakfast and I’ve drank more orange juice than is healthy, I’ll spend the rest of the day keeping warm and maybe cook something hot and spicy tonight. I’ll speak through my audition piece later; running through pronunciation doesn’t require a healthy throat. If I wake up with a voice as low as a man’s and as croaky as a frog’s tomorrow morning then perhaps I will panic, until then I know I have three days still left to recover before my audition, I can spend all day in bed tomorrow if I want to and I’m feeling positive.