Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: life lessons

  • Thirty and Thriving 🙌

    Thirty and Thriving 🙌

    It’s Sunday, the sun is shining and we’ve a roast dinner cooking away – nothing makes me happier than a day like this one. We’ve got family staying, I’m one beer down and I’m feeling more chilled than I have in ages. (Besides the football nerves of course – it’s been a nervy couple of weeks for England fans across the country and tonight’s game could be a turning point. Yes, I’m remaining optimistic!)

    My 30th has been and gone and it was FAB, but unfortunately it did coincide with a particularly stressful time at work and between full-on working days and celebrations I’ve barely had a moment to breathe.

    It always says something when I’m feeling like writing again. It says I’m coming out of the other side, my brain is clear of fog and the butterflies are less consuming. Hooray to that and thanks for sticking with me while Chapter Seven hit pause for a short while.

    Even full of brain fog and butterflies, 30 has brought with it a new confidence for me.

    I confess, I had a mini-meltdown on my birthday eve. All I could think was how much I hadn’t done yet. Suddenly my biggest regret in all the world was not having run a half marathon for example, in spite of the fact I’ve never enjoyed running and I’ve never even completed Couch to 5K. BUT since then, I’ve found being 30 somehow has me feeling like I can own my space more and like I’ve earned the right to live authentically and with confidence.

    Thirty has me ordering whisky neat, popping prosecco open without faffing and aiming higher at work and I’m excited to see how long I can ride this wave for.

    I’m so grateful to every person who chose to celebrate with me. I felt so loved throughout my birthday celebrations and there can be no doubt that’s brought me closer to the place I’m in now.

    Now, I know age is just a number. And if you’re reading this in your early twenties, please don’t let your age stop you from owning your space right now. Or if you’re way past 30 and still not feeling confident, please don’t let this make you feel you’re behind – you’re wonderful as you are and everyone is on their own timeline.

    But if you’re reading this on your approach to thirty, worried about reaching the milestone without having done everything you expected, please know that it’s not an ending. It’s just the beginning and there’s so much to be excited about yet. Celebrate all that you have achieved and own your space knowing you’re going into life’s next chapter with more wisdom than you’ve ever had before. In my timeline, I’ve a feeling thirty is where I start to come into my own.

  • All Storms Really Do Pass

    All Storms Really Do Pass

    Honestly? This week wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. On Tuesday, returning to work after the bank holiday, I had a really rubbish brain day. My head was full of fluff and anxiety and everything felt difficult. I stumbled through, but by the end of it, I had a mighty tension headache and tears in my eyes. Luckily, I have some wonderful people around me who got me through and I went to sleep full of pasta and feeling more human.

    By Friday, I was headed into London for a day at the office and the butterflies were a distant memory. And things just got better from there. Being in the office rejuvenated me and left me feeling more motivated on the work front. Seeing some lovely colleagues gave me a proper boost too. And then Friday night we saw some friends who never fail to chill me out and make me smile. I woke up yesterday morning full of beans and ready to enjoy a night away with Dave.

    I woke up this Sunday morning to the sound of rain hammering away on the wooden roof of the glamping pod we were staying in. Boiling the kettle to make a cup of tea, to sip in front of the rainy window, felt like the perfect way to welcome in Autumn.

    Now we’re home and the flat is as warm as it was in the summer, even with the blinds doing their best to keep the sun at bay and us cool. I don’t mind too much though. I’m in a comfy dress with a glass of water on the go and the memories of our cosy morning still fresh in my mind.

    And so there you have it: All storms really do pass. And if you’re feeling sucky right now, take care of yourself, reach out for support and trust the process. You’ll find the fog will clear and one day soon you’ll feel a bit more like facing whatever is in your path. And I hope at that point, some good stuff comes your way and makes you smile too.

  • Why it’s important to slow down when life feels complicated

    We, people in general, tend to overcomplicate things. Life’s fairly simple when you think about it. We’re born. Some things go wrong and some things go right. Some of us are lucky and some of us are incredibly unlucky. Some people like us and some people don’t. We make friends and we lose them. Then at some point it all has to end and most of the time people are sad to see other people go, regardless of what we may have done or not done, because at the end of the day the loss of life is simply sad.

    This isn’t coming from a place of complete randomness. Life has felt overwhelmingly complicated recently.

    When I nipped quickly into the Paperchase at London Euston a couple of weeks ago to grab a diary, because things were a little crazy and I needed to keep track, I was just excited to be back from travelling, to be rolling on with work and to have so many fantastic plans ahead.

    This week, I’ve done nothing but wish life was simpler. I’ve felt like I’m losing track. Suddenly work feels like my whole life and as much as I love my job, I can’t help freaking out about all the important things I don’t have time for. The days haven’t felt as long as they did in the beginning and there’s not enough time and everything’s been a muddle.

    Then out of nowhere, today has been simple.

    I simply slept for as long as I needed and then rolled out of bed at 11am. Dave cooked a not so simple, very impressive breakfast, but I helped where I could and sipped tea when I couldn’t. I sat outside and read my book and then I got too hot and moved indoors. Then I convinced Dave to walk round to McDonald’s with me and we bought McFlurrys. We don’t feel like cooking, so we’re simply ordering in.

    I feel like today has done me the world of good. Stepping out of the craziness of it all for just a little while has put my feet back on the ground again.

    Not only does this remind me of the value of slowing down once in a while, but I now feel like a complete wally. From an outside perspective, looking back, life’s been simple all along really.

    I have got to stop over-complicating things! (As if it’s that easy)