Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: Los Angeles

  • Memories and DMCs ðŸ¥¹

    Memories and DMCs ðŸ¥¹

    Last week was a tough one at work. Emotions were high and with a high workload in the mix too, it was hard to switch off. But a wise person told me not to underestimate the power of regular mini breaks. And of using those breaks to identify tension and do something about it – relax those shoulders, move those wrists, stretch that aching back. It worked wonders.

    Work being stressful also had me craving more sleep and snoozing that alarm, until I realised that was the opposite of what I needed and in fact, an early start would make me feel much better.

    Not only did I get up earlier from Wednesday onwards, I also treated myself to Curiously Cinnamon cereal, because it was on offer and I knew it’d bring me joy when enjoyed with a cup of tea and cat cuddles.

    It’s weeks like this one, which make me realise just how far I’ve come from the 17 year old who got her first job as a runner at a Mexican restaurant and cried when the chef shouted at her for not shouting loudly enough at him when firing the fajitas. Or the Bronwen who got butterflies every day before her admin job at a brickwork company.

    One month and one day until I turn 30.

    I’m excited to head into my 31st year of life, but I can’t help reflecting on the last 30 too. I keep scrolling through old photos on my phone and sharing them with my nearest and dearest – I think my friends may already be sick of receiving photos captioned with crying face emojis.

    The last year alone has contained so many ups and downs, so many memories and so much growth. The instagrammers among you may have seen that this week marked one whole year since I flew out to Los Angeles to see Dave after we had spent months apart.

    I learned so much from that experience – from where to find the best burgers in LA and where to watch the sunset to how strong Dave and I are as individuals and as partners.

    FYI – The best burgers in LA can be found at In-N-Out Burger. And whilst you’ll no doubt find it crowded with people doing the same thing, the sunset from the Griffith Observatory is one of a kind. Thank me later.

  • Los Angeles, Mexico City and Home Together Again

    Los Angeles, Mexico City and Home Together Again

    The sun is shining through our living room windows, Willow is sunbathing next to me and Dave is about to start cooking dinner. Just a week back home together and it feels as though he never went away.

    I hadn’t imagined my previous blog post would be the last before I left for LA; I imagined I’d blog again before I left and I’d be updating on the trip whilst I was away too.

    In reality, in the lead up I was way too focused on a very thorough, clear and organised plan for juggling work and life and packing and pre-holiday admin. I channelled all of my nervous energy into list creation. There are times when being an over-thinker can come in handy and this was definitely one of them – I’d thought of everything!

    And then once I was on holiday, all I wanted was to enjoy every moment.

    It’s been a whirlwind…

    Three weeks ago, I was still missing Dave, having not seen him for nearly three months and top of my to-do list was actually hoovering, because I had guests coming for the weekend.

    And two weeks ago, about this time in the US, we were on our way to the Griffith Observatory (which I was very excited to visit for the first time, given my obsession with the film La La Land and the super theatrical scene when Mia and Sebastian kiss for the first time.) We spent the evening there and, when the time came, watched as the sun set over the Hollywood hills, before getting the scrummiest dinner.

    I feel extremely lucky to have had the opportunity to not just visit Los Angeles, but to do so after Dave had gotten to know it so well. I feel I really saw only the best of a city, which, let’s face it, is known for having its good and its bad bits. I loved LA for its connection to the movies, for the proximity you felt to stardom, the way it sparkles at night and the way it looks from up high, its free and breezy energy and for the oodles of food and drink available. As a city girl, I enjoyed its vastness and the pace of life there too.

    We also were lucky enough to spend two nights in Mexico City with friends and again, we got ourselves a proper highlights tour. In fact, after our time with them there, Mexico City is going down as one of my favourite cities in the world. It’s got so much history and culture. It’s sinking between the mountains in it’s own unique, beautiful way, it’s so green and again, it’s full of amazing food and drink. One of the two nights, sat drinking Mescal cocktails outside a bar in Coyoacán, chatting away to friends we love but don’t see as often as we like, I was oh so happy. Especially safe in the knowledge that we’d be finishing the night, not with McDonald’s, but with freshly made churros dipped in chocolate.

    I wrote about travelling with butterflies at a time not that long ago, when I thought I’d gotten it all figured out. As with any mental illness, it turns out anxiety is unpredictable as ever and in fact, mine didn’t really trouble me for most of my time away – in spite of the fact I was further from home than ever before. It wasn’t as I’d have thought: I didn’t start the trip full of butterflies and then relax into life away as time went on. I started the trip feeling weirdly calm and it wasn’t until only the last couple of days that I started to feel the familiar queasiness and head fluffiness. I enjoyed all of our time away, but by the end I definitely felt the need to be grounded at home and was very much looking forward to landing back on familiar ground. And not just because of the butterflies of course, because I missed Willow and Mambo too and couldn’t wait to get Dave home and reunited with both of them. (On that – in a very un-cat-like fashion, they were so happy to see him! They remembered him instantly and were straight under his feet purring and wanting attention. It was the absolute cutest)

    And now we’re home and currently, I’m just the normal Bronwen amount of anxious. The butterflies are lurking, but they’re not causing me any real trouble. I’d have expected Dave being home to at least cause me a bit of agg on the mental health front – any change, good or bad, usually does, but yet again, I am pleasantly surprised by my brains lack of fuss about it.

    In other news, I’m trying to remember work is just work, because it’s a little much right now and it’s got the potential to become all consuming at the moment. I’m excited for the next few months and for all we have planned. And I’m really enjoying seeing daises among the grass, trees full of leaves and summer dresses on smiley faced people everywhere. Summer is in the air here in the UK and I love love love it.

  • Enjoying the now

    Enjoying the now

    My flights to L.A are booked and there are only 52 days now until I’ll be posting from a, hopefully sunny, California. So, if you’re reading this and you have any recommendations for where to find the best food in LA, let me know!

    Time is absolutely flying by and everyone keeps telling me it’ll be no time at all before Dave and I are reunited at the airport, Love Actually style. Although, me being me, you can bet I’ll trip and fall flat on my face or I’ll get lost and head to the wrong exit or I’ll mistake a total stranger for Dave from behind and embarrass myself tremendously.

    But I’m not wishing the time away. If I could click my fingers and be with Dave tomorrow, I would, but seeing as I can’t, I’m determined to carry on making the best of things between now and then.

    Now the days are getting longer in the UK, I’m getting out for some beautiful walks. Although I’m finding I have to pick my moments. Whilst walking every day was something I enjoyed when Dave was on home turf, I’m currently finding that on the wrong day a walk leaves me too alone with my thoughts.

    But I’ve discovered some amazing podcasts, thanks to recommendations from friends, and they make me feel like I’ve got company even when I’m washing up at home. Thanks to them, I spend a lot of time laughing instead of feeling lonely.

    One of my best friends recently had a beautiful, healthy baby boy and two of my best friends have hen-dos next month. One of those lovely ladies gets married in April, just before I fly.

    There’s too much to be grateful for and excited about between now and my flight, for me to wish the time away.

    The older we get the quicker the time flies hey? So, if I were to leave you with a pearl of wisdom, true Blog with Bron style, then it would be to think short-term. Know what your end goal is. Know what you’re aiming for. But focus most of all on the chunk of life in front of you. Make decisions in the present based on where you want to end up, but don’t let excitement about reaching that goal stop you enjoying the now.