Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: music

  • Swinging away the butterflies ðŸŽ¶

    Swinging away the butterflies ðŸŽ¶

    The first half of this week was full of butterflies and nauseating tummy flutters and a night of jazz helped me see them off just in time for the weekend.

    Filling in my planner Monday morning, I popped ‘inhale confidence, exhale doubt’ on my list of priorities. I knew already that I’d need to believe in myself to tackle the week ahead.

    In moments of anxiety and nausea it was harder to prioritise time to breathe but I did manage to find enough confidence to get through two days at the office and some really important meetings. I’m learning to remember that confidence and butterflies aren’t mutually exclusive – in fact, it takes confidence to take life on with butterflies in tow.

    I finished ‘Daisy Jones & the Six’ by Taylor Jenkins-Reid this week, because I spent quite a lot of time reading (which also helped with the nerves). When I headed to update Instagram and my Goodreads account, I was so close to rating it 5 out of 5, but landed on a 4 in the end – I loved it and I’m so grateful for the respite it’s given me whilst I’ve been reading it, but it’s not going down as one of my absolute faves. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t recommend it, in fact I definitely would! I’d recommend the Amazon TV show too – the music is BRILLIANT.

    Speaking of music, a night of jazz on Thursday helped me say good riddance to the butterflies once and for all… A fab friend and I headed to Alfie’s Soho for a jam night. Right in the heart of Soho’s jazz scene and just around the corner from Ronnie Scott’s, Alfie’s is up a flight of stairs, dimly lit with candles and crammed full of stools and chairs. We had a great time escaping for the evening. We were left absolutely in awe of the musicians, who rocked up with their instruments, took to the stage without knowing the other musicians around them and played jazz with them as if they’d been playing together for years. I did a whole module on the history of Jazz at uni and yet I don’t think I’d ever actually seen it performed like this. It was very cool!

    If you’ve been following along long enough, you may remember that La La Land is my absolute favourite film in all of the world and that I LOVE London. To be sat in a jazz bar, not too different from Seb’s, in the middle of Soho made me feel all kinds of happy and grateful.

    The butterflies are just starting to creep back in today, but Friday night was spent eating pasta bake and watching the Olympic opening ceremony and the rest of the weekend has been spent with some of our closest friends and their little ones and so I do feel rejuvenated. Hoping this week might be a little less butterfly-full, but also feeling safe in the knowledge that I’ll be okay either way. After all, I’ve now got over 30 years of living behind me and time and time again I’ve proved that my anxiety can’t hold me back.

  • Remember when rock was young

    Remember when rock was young

    Coming to you wearing joggers, with a massive mug of tea in hand. It has been an incredible weekend full of live music, good food and wonderful people. I’m feeling grateful but also, admittedly, a little worn out – thank goodness it’s Sunday. Today’s been everything I’ve needed. I’m thanking past Bronwen for leaving the day free of plans.

    On Friday, I had the absolute pleasure of seeing the LEGEND that is Elton John play at British Summertime Festival. Where to begin? The whole evening was magical. He’s such a talented human and there was so much love for him in that crowd of thousands. He performed an incredible line up with ease and class and he didn’t sing a single note out of tune. Never mind the fact he also hit every piano key perfectly. I have come away with so many memories to treasure and a heart full of love for him and all that he represents – especially this Pride month.

    And last night! Last night, we saw Greta Van Fleet live at Alexandra Palace. I’d never been to Ally Pally before and had no idea what to expect, but what a fantastic venue! We were in the great hall and having chosen the perfect spot off to the side, well and truly rocked the night away. If you’re reading this and you’ve never heard of Greta Van Fleet before, go check them out! They do rock like we’re in the 1970s, except the band members themselves were born 20 years on from when Led Zeppelin were taking the world by storm.

    And now I’m cream crackered. I’m full of butterflies, my shoulders hurt and my legs ache and my body is very clearly telling me to chill. Not sure I’ve even got the oompth to read my book. It’s a movie marathon and junk food kind of a Sunday and that’s okay. Not every day can be the best day ever, no matter what Instagram would have us believe.

  • Exploring London: Discovering Live Music in Whitechapel and the V&A Museum

    Exploring London: Discovering Live Music in Whitechapel and the V&A Museum

    Life’s been busy, good busy and this weekend has been a good’un. I spent most of it in my favourite city in the world…

    Friday night I headed to the George Tavern in Whitechapel with some people from work. It’s a live music venue and the musicians who played were all so talented! ‘Friend of Dave’ was a beat-boxer equipped with a maraca and a harmonica and you would not believe the textures he created all by himself. He played feel good tunes that put smiles on everyone’s faces. ‘Austrumkalns’ were a Latvian ensemble. They are a flautist, cellist, violinist, guitarist and percussionist and they played Latvian folk songs. They were beautiful. They even planted Latvian dancers in the pub to get everyone on their feet. I had one of them ‘must mentally capture this and store the memory vividly forever’ moments. The headliners were ‘Erin Black and the Devil’s Hand’ who were fantastic. Every member of the band was super talented, all introduced individually at the beginning of the set. They had every single person captivated until the set ended and everyone darted out for their last trains home, myself included.

    Saturday I met a good friend for lunch in Kensington before heading over to the V&A for the Opera Passion exhibition. I highly recommend the Lebanese restaurant we went to (Comptoir Libanais), which I believe is part of a chain. I had halloumi and tomato and a lamb tagine and loved every single bite. We finished the meal off with a mint tea and a hot chocolate (hot chocolate for me, of course) and then headed back out into the rain to get to the museum. The exhibition itself was brilliant. No spoilers, go check it out if you can! I’d never been to the V&A before and I’m going to have to go back. So many things captured my interest on the way through! May need more than one visit. I had no idea how humongous it was.

    Another lovely friend of mine came to stay last night. We had a proper girls night and it was simply lovely. Highlights include listening to Sam Smith’s new album, popping open a bottle of prosecco and face masks.

    I’m curled up on the sofa with a cuppa right now. Shark Tale’s on the TV and it’s just coming to the end credits. Car Wash is playing, you know the scene?, and I’ve just turned the volume up. I think once I’ve finished writing this I’m going to have chicken kievs for dinner. I’m going to carry on reading Lauren Graham’s autobiography while it cooks. It’s based around her time spent playing Loralai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls, it was a Christmas present and I’m loving it. It’s a lot of fun.

    I’ve started learning a Katie Melua piece on the piano, so I ought to get a little more practice in tonight too. I’m pretending like it’s not Monday tomorrow. What is it about Mondays? I’ve butterflies just thinking about it. In this case though, we’re really truly in it together. We’ll all struggle through Monday morning and we’ll all be alright once we’ve had a cup of tea or coffee or two.

  • Finding joy in music again

    I’m sat at my desk, the sun has got its hat on, Passenger’s album ‘All the Little Lights’ is whizzing ’round the record player and I’m making my way through a massive mug of tea.

    Last week, I worked my first day in a school! I was ridiculously nervous. In fact, think I forgot to breathe for the first two hours after I arrived. BUT when I got back home at the end of the day I was feeling positive. I had a really good day. Everything came to me surprisingly naturally and I was in my element being back in the school environment again. I was too busy getting stuck in to sit back and think too much so I haven’t made any big life decisions yet, but I loved it. I know that much.

    In October 2013, I wrote a post about conquering a busy student life:

    You’ll find it in Chapter One:  https://blogginggoodbyetobutterflies.com/2013/10/24/537/

    When I went back to university for my second year, I very quickly discovered that I was noticeably happier when I kept myself busy and started the day early. To this day, I swear by it. A busy life is a happy one; for me at least. Time to think has never done me much good. A day in with my best mate Netflix only ever turns my brain to moosh.

    I’ve had a wonderfully busy week. I’ve been to the cinema and I’ve been out for dinner. I popped into town for cheap work clothes. I’ve been to work. I went along to a fundraising quiz night, in aid of a brave young girl who has been diagnosed with a rare terminal illness and whose family are raising money for her treatment*. Saturday was such a long day that when I woke up Sunday morning I blamed my aching muscles on the dancing I’d done Saturday night, forgetting about the fitness class I’d done first thing Saturday morning. Yesterday was spent eating BBQ food and drinking Prosecco to celebrate my beautiful twin cousins’ birthday. (I cannot believe they are going to be 18.)

    I’ve also come to realise that keeping busy isn’t the only thing that makes me happy: I’ve done a singing practice every day without fail. I don’t think I’ve truthfully been able to say that since I finished my degree.

    I’d began to forget just how much joy singing brings me. Tuesday, I rang Dave at the end of the first proper singing practice I’d done in ages. I tried to explain in words how I felt and how much it meant to me. I tried to explain how it had made me feel and in the end I just told him that nothing compares to it. Nothing gives me more freedom than singing. Nothing makes me feel stronger and nothing makes me happier.

    I’m off to set up at the piano for a little while. If you can, go play your favourite song at top volume and whether you think you can or not, sing along at the top of your voice. After all, I don’t sing because I’m happy, I’m happy because I sing.

    *Follow the link to donate to help fund treatement for Phoebe Flo: https://www.gofundme.com/phoebeflo

  • Life has been a little crazy, that’s all

    Trying to work out how to justify the fact I haven’t blogged in over a month and considering giving up trying. Life has been a little crazy, that’s all. In just over a month I’ve written five essays, finally found the courage to go along to music socials, met some amazing new people and become president of a choir society.

    I got my life back when I handed in my last two essays on Wednesday. It turned out that all an end to deadlines really meant, was a return to chores. I came back to life to find that I’d been a living in a mess of a bedroom, I had no clean clothes left and I had no food in the fridge. I spent Wednesday afternoon sorting my life out.

    I spent the last two days storming around town, trying on dresses, deciding I hated all of them and wishing I could turn up to the end of year, 1920’s themed, music ball in skinny jeans. I very nearly headed to the ‘men’s formal’ section of Debenhams to find myself a suit and a tie and some jazzy musical socks. I should have been a boy. Luckily when I turned up at her house, collapsed on her sofa and demanded tea, an amazing friend reminded me to breathe and after shopping trip number two I’ve ended up with a reasonably 1920’s style, actually kinda lovely, skirt and top combo.

    Today so far has been spent in bed in pyjamas with my keyboard and my laptop, preparing for a keyboard test that’s tomorrow, getting distracted by netflix and trying not to panic about the fact I’m going to the ball tonight. I know I am bound to do something ridiculous… give myself mascara panda eyes, walk into a door and give myself a black eye, make it to the ball then spill gravy down my skirt, fall over on my way to the after party, who knows. Hopefully, whatever happens it is going to be an amazing night. My keyboard test on the other hand? That is going to be a complete disaster.

     

  • Expert Procrastinator

    Sat at my desk doing nothing other than daydreaming out of my window and singing along to my shuffling iTunes library. There is so much I should be doing. My room looks like a small bomb hit it. I’m sat next to a pile of books so high I’m surprised I managed to transport it from Cardiff to home. My head is filled with dates for my diary that I haven’t been writing down.

    Home comforts are beautiful, but they turn me into an incredibly lazy individual.

    I headed back to Cardiff with my Mum for a couple of days last week. I needed to be back so that I could hand a music assignment in, but I wasn’t ready to head back permanently just yet. My mum hadn’t seen my new flat. She hadn’t even spent much time in Cardiff itself: The last time she came to visit she spontaneously turned up for an afternoon just after my 19th birthday… We crammed a lunch, a catch up, a shopping trip and student-style dinner into what felt like five minutes and then she headed home again.

    This time, we spent two days tea drinking, restaurant dining, musical-seeing (Priscilla Queen of the Desert is a must-see; it had me smiling all the way through), drink sharing, Wetherspoons’ breakfast eating, sight-seeing, friend visiting, assignment handing in-ing AND shopping.

    I have now bought myself one more week at home to get organised, catch up on all of my reading, spend time with my family, see any friends still left in Chelmsford and eat as much food as is bronwenly possible.

    Hoping I’ll feel ready to head back once moving day comes around. I’m sure I will.

  • Singing goodbye to butterflies in the shower

    Caught myself singing in the shower, wondered ’round with a towel turban on my head, left my stuff all over the sofa while I went out last night, sung opera in my bedroom AND let my iTunes music shuffle freely without cringing when The Circle of Life started playing. One week here and it feels like home already.

    Feels so good to be sat on an actual sofa, curled up among the cushions writing this post with a cup of tea on the go. Being a fresher, sat on my bed hiding from the outside world, feels like a distant memory. As does nervously heading to the communal space in our university halls and sitting on a hard, plastic chair at the kitchen table.

    Life as a second year student so far has been different to life as a fresher in so many ways…

    As soon as I wake up in the morning I come downstairs in my pyjamas.

    My bedroom door here is almost always open and so are everyone else’s.

    Heading out in the evenings is easy now we know where to head and on which nights.

    I know the quickest route into town and into university and back, and I didn’t have to try three different routes to find the best.

    I feel so much more comfortable living with my friends, in a beautiful city that I now know and love.

    We may still be lacking internet and our washing machine may be broken, but the butterflies that lived in my stomach permanently last year seem to have temporarily fallen asleep this year already. Who would have thought it!? Now to conquer the world.