Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: overthinking

  • Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Diversions in life make way for new adventures 🗺️

    Today’s the best kind of Sunday – I’m off out to meet one of my best friends for a roast dinner and a country walk. The pub we’ve found for Sunday roast is so popular that they called me on Friday just to make sure we still wanted our table and it couldn’t be offered to someone else. I bet the roast potatoes will be super yummy.

    This week has been a bit of an uphill struggle and not only did I feel anxious and tired and headachy and run down as I so frequently do, but I made it worse by stressing about why I might be feeling that way at a time when life is supposedly pretty good.

    I sat on the sofa one night running over everything I could possibly be stressing about this time. Work? Fine. Friendships? Pretty fab. Family? Love ’em. Cats? Happy and healthy. Life admin? Manageable.

    It never gets easier to accept that anxiety is a part of my life and that it can be an irrational response to simply just being.

    But I’m not too mad I over thought it, as I’ve done some research over the weekend which has been really enlightening. I think maybe my hormones took a swing at a certain time in a certain monthly cycle. It’s been comforting to read that, if that is the case, I’m not alone. Turns out there are multiple times in the month when those of us with cycles can feel more in a tizz and that hormones can do their thing more often as we got older. Whilst this is miserable news, it is comforting to think that maybe next time I’ll be a little gentler with myself. 30 years behind me and still learning new things about my body and my butterflies all the time.

    Pleased to have made it through in spite of it all. I had a productive week at work and it’s been a lovely weekend so far, full of time with friends. On Friday night I went to visit a friend and her absolutely precious new born baby girl. Last night, I was out celebrating one of my best friend’s 30th birthday at a London pub. The tube got suspended and I ended up getting the bus and then taking a walk through Wandsworth Park to get there, which was BEAUTIFUL. Once there, I had the best time playing pool, nattering with lovely ladies I haven’t seen in ages and saying cheers to the birthday girl with bubbles and cupcakes.

    Today, I’m excited for roast potatoes, a long overdue catch up and I’m excited to get in the car and listen to Taylor Swift at top volume… If I wasn’t a Swiftie before going to the Eras tour, I most definitely am now. I’m currently making my way through ‘evermore’ and loving every moment. Also am currently obsessed with Raye’s album ’21st Century Blues’ and Cat Burns’ ‘Early Twenties’.

    Happy Sunday all! Lessons learned this week – we should all go a little easier on ourselves when we feel run down, because sometimes our bodies just need a rest. Time with friends is so precious and always worth pushing through for. And being thrown off the tube isn’t always a bad thing, because taking a new route can be pretty wonderful.

  • All Storms Really Do Pass

    All Storms Really Do Pass

    Honestly? This week wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. On Tuesday, returning to work after the bank holiday, I had a really rubbish brain day. My head was full of fluff and anxiety and everything felt difficult. I stumbled through, but by the end of it, I had a mighty tension headache and tears in my eyes. Luckily, I have some wonderful people around me who got me through and I went to sleep full of pasta and feeling more human.

    By Friday, I was headed into London for a day at the office and the butterflies were a distant memory. And things just got better from there. Being in the office rejuvenated me and left me feeling more motivated on the work front. Seeing some lovely colleagues gave me a proper boost too. And then Friday night we saw some friends who never fail to chill me out and make me smile. I woke up yesterday morning full of beans and ready to enjoy a night away with Dave.

    I woke up this Sunday morning to the sound of rain hammering away on the wooden roof of the glamping pod we were staying in. Boiling the kettle to make a cup of tea, to sip in front of the rainy window, felt like the perfect way to welcome in Autumn.

    Now we’re home and the flat is as warm as it was in the summer, even with the blinds doing their best to keep the sun at bay and us cool. I don’t mind too much though. I’m in a comfy dress with a glass of water on the go and the memories of our cosy morning still fresh in my mind.

    And so there you have it: All storms really do pass. And if you’re feeling sucky right now, take care of yourself, reach out for support and trust the process. You’ll find the fog will clear and one day soon you’ll feel a bit more like facing whatever is in your path. And I hope at that point, some good stuff comes your way and makes you smile too.