Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies

Tag: winter

  • Festive Season Butterflies: Finding peace at the busiest time of the year ðŸŽ„

    Festive Season Butterflies: Finding peace at the busiest time of the year ðŸŽ„

    This morning was meant to be a slow morning. Yesterday was spent running in and out of shops getting the last of our Christmas presents and then putting our tree up, before flopping in front of the Strictly Come Dancing final with a glass of red. When we eventually flopped, I felt so happy at the thought of a lazy evening and a lazy morning to follow it.

    Then, disappointingly, I woke up at 6 am with a head full of anxious thoughts. I restlessly snoozed for a couple more hours before giving in and getting up to get myself a cup of tea. I found that, even curled up on the sofa looking at our lovely little Christmas tree, I couldn’t chill. I reviewed my to-do list to confirm to myself there was nothing urgent that needed actioning, but even that didn’t work. 08;45 came around and with that, my prompt to fill in my gratitude journal for the day and yet, even a moment of gratitude didn’t calm my anxious brain.

    Isn’t this time of year the most wonderful and the most stressful all at once!?

    If you’re anything like me, one moment you’re joyfully singing along to Mariah Carey and then the next you’re panic shopping for little extras in the Christmassy aisle of your local supermarket or re-doing your sums in a panic that you’ve not budgeted correctly after all and you’re going to find yourself bankrupt by Christmas Eve.

    I love this time of year. I really do. The twinkling lights everywhere you go. The Christmas songs playing in every shop and on the radio whenever you get in the car. The quality time with family and friends. The glorious amount of food and drink for those of us who are privileged enough. The general cheer.

    I even love the Winter. The late sunrises which on a clear day can fill your home with sunlight. The dark, gloomy evenings spent chilling with candles lit. The woolen jumpers and socks and hats that help us keep warm. I think that’s one of the reasons this time of year can be so hard in the more anxious moments. The days are short, the weather is cold and yet, instead of cosying down we can find ourselves feeling obligated to get out and about more than ever. This can lead to tiredness, which can niggle away at our mental health.

    I also totally buy into the concept of rounding off one year and then entering another and I enjoy that process. I think it’s important to rest and reflect before diving head first into another year of resolutions and adventures. But at the busiest time of year, it’s hard to make time to rest and reflect and before we know it, Christmas can come and go without us having taken a single moment to properly savour it or plan for what’s ahead.

    And so, I think it’s about finding peace where you can and if peace doesn’t come easily, persisting until you find a way.

    In the end, after I’d filled in my gratitude journal, I grabbed myself a bowl of cereal and scrolled through Spotify in search of something festive yet calming, that might help me get some rest. I stumbled upon Nora Jones’ Christmas album and finally caught my breath. She’s been keeping me steady ever since and I’m now thoroughly enjoying typing away whilst sipping another cup of tea.

    For those who have been keeping up with Chapter Seven, BIG NEWS! Dave and I have found a house which we really love! There’s a long way to go yet until it’s officially ours, but we’re over the moon and very excited. We’ve also started the extremely daunting conveyancing process, which of course means there are all sorts of other things cluttering up my anxious brain at the moment.

    Which brings me to my final point…

    It’s not just Christmas. Life goes on throughout the festive season. And keeping up with life on top of all of the wonderful festivities can be A LOT. So, give yourself grace. Listen to the calmer Christmas music. Light a candle and watch the flame for a little while. Turn the Christmas Tree lights on and day dream. Whatever you’ve got going on this year, find some peace where you can and remember to look after yourself.

  • Snow Days

    Snow Days

    I’m a winter girl through and through, but my goodness am I ready for spring now.

    By Friday night the Beast from the East had been doing it’s thing for a few days in a row and somehow, it was still snowing. I had travelled to my parents’ house and I hated knowing I couldn’t go out even if I wanted to. I couldn’t stop thinking about that dinner and cinema trip that never happened, the shopping spree never had, the girl’s spa weekend that we’d had to call off! So, when two crazy friends of mine booked a cab and told me they were off out into town for drinks despite the weather, I couldn’t resist. SNOW, WHAT SNOW!? Yeah! Stuff you snow! The snow certainly didn’t stop us from having a truly FAB evening and I’m so glad we went.

    On Saturday, due to snow, the spa trip that me and some of my friends had planned was cancelled, but we weren’t letting that ruin our weekend either. We gathered together armed with face masks, olives, chips and dips, prosecco and comfy pants and we had a lovely time together anyway.

    Sunday morning, the snow was gone and I couldn’t help feeling happy about it.

    I have since watched the last episode of Friends. Yes, I’d never seen the last episode of Friends before. Yes, Dave and I did buy the box set when we moved into the flat and have just now finished watching it chronologically from start to finish. Yes, I did sob into my glass of red wine for the entirety of the episode which, by the way, couldn’t have been more perfect.

    I’ve also started reading George Saunders’ Lincoln in the Bardo’ and I’m a massive fan already. It won the Man Booker Prize in 2017 and yet, I’ve seen surprisingly varied reviews. Personally, I’m not surprised it won the award. I’m currently on team 5 star. I’m only half way through, so this may not be my final verdict but so far I find it to be imaginative, captivating and absolutely bonkers, in a great way.

  • Overcoming Winter Blues at Uni: Sunshine, Cocktails and Flappy Birds

    I am no expert, but I think I’ve been suffering from a serious case of the infamous winter blues.

    January and February, through no real fault of their own, have very bad reputations. January signifies the end of the holiday season and our return to every day life. It is as we struggle through January’s wind and rain that we begin to realise just how far away the summer really is. February is infamous because by February most of us notice we’ve already failed the New Year Resolutions we were determined to keep. It always tends to be a struggle for us single folk, no matter how much we claim we love the single life and completely oppose Valentine’s Day.

    As someone who has always been just as fond of the winter as the summer, normally I wouldn’t sympathise. (Snow, wooly jumpers, wellington boots, yummy Christmas leftovers, what’s to complain about?) This year, for the first time, I understand. Since coming back to Cardiff I’ve spent an unjustifiable amount of time in my onesie, drinking wine, eating chocolate and ice cream, cuddling my hot water bottle, watching TV in bed, singing love ballads and wishing I were Bridget Jones. I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time complaining about slow internet connectivity, my lack of boyfriend, the cold, the wind, the rain, and my subsequent lack of determination.

    Then last Friday, Cardiff woke up to sunshine. Me and my flatmate spent the day making the most of it. Sat on a bench, eating hot cross buns in the sun, I found myself smiling hugely. When we left the pub after getting cocktails that evening and it was raining again, I didn’t even grumble. I walked home alongside her, sharing her umbrella and singing songs from various musicals. It failed to bother me when it rained Saturday night because I was babysitting in a warm house, on a sofa, curled up with a cat, a cup of tea and two lovely children who introduced me to the infuriating world of Flappy Bird. When it was raining on Sunday, I was in the library, feeling abnormally determined and powering through reading for the history seminars of the week.

    I am sure that days like today can be blamed for winter blues Wales-wide. To say that the walk into the university was difficult would be an understatement: Gale force winds pushed me forwards, backwards, sideways and very nearly straight into someone’s dustbin. BUT, university today was well worth the journey. I went to two and a half hours of music lectures which were probably the most interesting lectures I’ve been to since coming to Cardiff. In the afternoon I had a meeting with my history lecturer, who in just half an hour, managed to make me feel like I could conquer the world. I couldn’t tell you what it was he said that gave me so much enthusiasm, but I left his office wanting to run home, boil the kettle, make tea and immediately start writing my essay.

    Now, I’m sat smiling hugely and wondering what on earth I had to moan about. I’m not really sure where this determination came from… exposure to sunlight, introduction to Flappy Birds? How ever it got here I hope it stays. As for the winter blues, no matter how much rain I have to power through this week, I hope I’ve seen the back of them.