I’m in for a quiet Friday tonight and I’m so relieved. I’m curled up all snug under a blanket. I’ve a glass of red wine on the go which is warming me from the inside out. I’ve candles lit and music playing and Dave’s said the T word. The T word being takeaway. There’s no going back now; we’ll be ordering in no time.
I can’t speak for everyone living with anxiety, but I know that for me personally, mornings are the hardest. I may tell you that when I’m singing or writing or doing anything I love, the butterflies go away. In reality the only time they really do go away is when I’m asleep. Leaving sleep behind is hard for most people. I’d sleep all day every day given the chance. For the first couple of hours of a day, having just mustered up the oomph to get up and at ’em, every little thing counts. A bright and funny news story can make a day. A train delay can break a week.
Monday morning I felt worse than I have in ages and not just cos it was a Monday: It was pouring down with rain and the train was 25 minutes late. While I stood there on that platform, feeling miserable and defeated, I decided this week simply wasn’t going to be my week.
I hit delays on the trains again yesterday morning and then eventually my trains were cancelled all together. This morning, my rear windscreen wiper broke!
On the positive side, I’ve cooked some amazing meals this week. I’m even thinking I might actually start using the recipe books we have had for ages, but not used yet. I find cooking incredibly stressful most of the time, but I’m getting there recently. I’m feeling inspired by my best friend who recently moved out and who cooks simple, quick, easy, healthy meals from Joe Wick’s books almost every night and seems so happy for it.
Other highlights this week include finally getting to season nine of Friends and still not knowing any spoilers *touches wood*, going for a wintry walk with Dave, buying a yoga mat and finally having time to paint my nails.
This evening I’m feeling super creative despite being so tired. I want to do a zillion things at once. I am so close to finishing my book, but I haven’t even made a start on the colouring in my ‘mindfulness colouring diary’. I’m also glancing longingly at the piano and ukulele every so often because as per, I just want to sing my heart out. First thing first, order food, the rest comes after.