The first half of this week was full of butterflies and nauseating tummy flutters and a night of jazz helped me see them off just in time for the weekend.
Filling in my planner Monday morning, I popped ‘inhale confidence, exhale doubt’ on my list of priorities. I knew already that I’d need to believe in myself to tackle the week ahead.
In moments of anxiety and nausea it was harder to prioritise time to breathe but I did manage to find enough confidence to get through two days at the office and some really important meetings. I’m learning to remember that confidence and butterflies aren’t mutually exclusive – in fact, it takes confidence to take life on with butterflies in tow.
I finished ‘Daisy Jones & the Six’ by Taylor Jenkins-Reid this week, because I spent quite a lot of time reading (which also helped with the nerves). When I headed to update Instagram and my Goodreads account, I was so close to rating it 5 out of 5, but landed on a 4 in the end – I loved it and I’m so grateful for the respite it’s given me whilst I’ve been reading it, but it’s not going down as one of my absolute faves. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t recommend it, in fact I definitely would! I’d recommend the Amazon TV show too – the music is BRILLIANT.
Speaking of music, a night of jazz on Thursday helped me say good riddance to the butterflies once and for all… A fab friend and I headed to Alfie’s Soho for a jam night. Right in the heart of Soho’s jazz scene and just around the corner from Ronnie Scott’s, Alfie’s is up a flight of stairs, dimly lit with candles and crammed full of stools and chairs. We had a great time escaping for the evening. We were left absolutely in awe of the musicians, who rocked up with their instruments, took to the stage without knowing the other musicians around them and played jazz with them as if they’d been playing together for years. I did a whole module on the history of Jazz at uni and yet I don’t think I’d ever actually seen it performed like this. It was very cool!
If you’ve been following along long enough, you may remember that La La Land is my absolute favourite film in all of the world and that I LOVE London. To be sat in a jazz bar, not too different from Seb’s, in the middle of Soho made me feel all kinds of happy and grateful.
The butterflies are just starting to creep back in today, but Friday night was spent eating pasta bake and watching the Olympic opening ceremony and the rest of the weekend has been spent with some of our closest friends and their little ones and so I do feel rejuvenated. Hoping this week might be a little less butterfly-full, but also feeling safe in the knowledge that I’ll be okay either way. After all, I’ve now got over 30 years of living behind me and time and time again I’ve proved that my anxiety can’t hold me back.
Blogging Goodbye to Butterflies 