I feel like my heart never stops beating too fast and the butterflies are back with a vengeance and that maybe this job wasn’t such a good idea after all.
The first week that I had to juggle lectures and work shifts I spent so focused on getting to where I needed to be that, once I’d got there, I forgot to enjoy myself. Then, when I got back home I felt like I’d done everything I needed to do: I found food, cooked it, ate it, collapsed in bed and normally very quickly, fell asleep. Perhaps I did need sleep and perhaps I had done all I needed to do, but it meant I never took a moment to actually decompress or relax.
My first Sunday free of work or lectures was spent reminding myself what I love to spend my free time doing. I realised the bits of university life I love most are the night clubbing, book reading, essay writing (yes, even that), music studying, opera singing, film watching, friend seeing, takeaway eating bits. Even if it’d only been a week I realised I’d missed that.
So, at the risk of becoming very slightly sleep deprived, I rediscovered my evenings. Week two, I got back in from work or from lectures, ate food and then, instead of sleeping right away, did something for myself. Whether that was to head to an awesome friend’s house and eat pizza, get distracted by social networks/YouTube videos and get some of my music essay written, head to a night club, or curl up in pyjamas with my head in a book to cover the history reading for my next seminar.
I’ve never appreciated my Sunday morning lie-ins more.
I’m trying to stay positive, but this is more testing than I ever imagined. I can’t win. I’m making a daily choice between sleep and those things that make me happy. The week just gone was the most hectic week so far! I can’t help looking forward to working my last shift Christmas eve already.
Now the countdown to Christmas has begun I’m holding onto hope that things are going to get a little easier. I’m glad I’m making the time for the things I love and there is an end in sight. Here’s hoping that it’ll all be worth it in the long run.